*Your entire family runs the marathon when they see a dog (calmly walking on the other side of the road)
*"Paracetamol" is the cure to every illness
*You studied A level Maths but still think it's possible to fit 100 people into one car
*You were taught never to talk to strangers at primary school, yet your parents force you to call a complete stranger "auntie"
*In primary school nativity plays you were always the donkey in the background and if you were extra lucky, you were given the part of the villager
*The bus never stops for you
*You achieve A*'s in every subject and your parents tell you to STUDY HARDER
*At home you have a butcher's knife which is bigger than your head There is a tub of "PRIDE BUTTER GHEE" and a sack of "TILDA BASMATI RICE" in your hallway
*You think your life is just one BIG INDIAN FILM
*Unknown "relatives" start ringing your house on the day that your exam results are coming out
*Your parents have a PANIC ATTACK when something dirty comes on T.V.
*You have to offer guests tea even before they've stepped into your house
*You address every other Asian person on the planet as your "cousin"
*You dress identical to your friends and your favorite color is black
**GIRLS: Your brother thinks he's your dad
*At weddings the cameraman only ever films you when you're eating
*You get over excited when you see another Asian person on T.V.
*You are constantly being compared to every other Asian kid on the planet
*Your phone number is x directory
**GUYS: You lock your sister up and then go out fooling around yourself
*You have cousins that you've never heard of
*You are unable to open your front door because of the pile of shoes blocking the way
*You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it.
*Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years
*Your mother does everything for you if you are a male
*Your relatives alone could populate a small city
*You went to a university as far away from home as possible...and ..you still came back home to live with your parents after you have finished
*You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 mile radius.
*You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.
*You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of the royal family
*To your English friends, oil is used purely 4 cooking and not as a grooming aid
*Your mother measures wealth in gold and diamonds
*No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit
*Your parents drink 10 cups of tea a day
*You eat onions with everything
*You use chili sauce instead of tomato ketchup
*You have a 'Singer' or 'Brother' sewing machine at home