"Nobody’s perfect, Aint none of us worthless. We all got a place, and we all got a purpose." -Murs

Turn down the radio, and put on your headphones/ Blast the music loud and open your earholes/ Listen to the words that mean more than what you see as great/ The words speaking about our world’s debates/ Aint none about money and cars, or tricks and hoes/ But about lifes actual problems, the ones that come deep down from the soul/ You may not know/ but now you do/ So open your eyes, and listen to whats true.

So.. Lifes been coooo' lately.(= I'm happpy for that. It's hard to know that after ever up there's a down. I'm prepared for the worst, sooo ayee BITCH: TRY ME. But that's not what I wanted to blog about.

Today I was looking through my Agenda because I was helllaa bored in 3rd period and our agendas have these quotes on it. So I was searching it and I fell upon this:

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"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps going"

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-Jim Rohn      

I thought about it for a minute and then wrote this next to it:

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<-- Just like how infatuation cathes your eye, but it's the connection that keeps the relationship going.

Thats hella true.

Lets just say there's this fine asss fellla/female walking pass you and you're thinking deeeyum, theeeey fine! But then when you get down to it, you two would never be together because the connection's hella weak, right?. When you really think about it.. It's more clearer. A dream is a dream. But a dream with a purpose, and like.. if you're hella into it.. then it could lead to something big. Like let's say you wanna be a singer. Lets use Keyshia Cole's story;

When she was young, like around 13, she knew Tupac and he told her to keep keep singing because it could lead her to somewhere. She wasn't really into singing that much at the time. When Tupac died, she remembered what he had said, which motivated her to sing more and pratice more. Now look at her. Its become part of her lifestyle and now she makin big hitss . The end(=

Let's say, what if she never knew Tupac? Would she still be who she is today? Who knows, we wouldnt wanna find out because she's BOMB(;< . We don't want her not singing. But anyway, you feel me?

In a relationship, the thing that keeps it going is the connection. Once the connection dies, the two break up, si? Or like, if one of them don't feel like they like them anymore , then the relationship ends that way. Either way, it still has something to deal with a connection. A relationship is a relation, and love is waaay more. It is as it is. Yheea , somethings aren't what they seem, but in this case.. that sh/ts difff.

I use to think, daaaayng. Why should I have a boyfriend if that's going to end anyways? Nothing really lasts forever, right? But that was before.. This is now: If I don't open my heart, then I'm just bottling everything inside. It's like I'm hiding myself under a think blanket. Yes, not everything does last forever. But whose stopping you? fait? PSSSSH. Open your eyes. & open your heart. It might get broken, but shhhht. You can fix it. Its like.. "Falling down aint really falling if you dont cry when you hit the floor" -Alicia Keys. When you fail, you learn. & when you learn, you grow. & when you grow more and more, the stronger you'll be. So not letting someone in, is like not letting you grow.. which is like not letting you live. Which is weird cause its like your killing yourself. ? ahaha. UHMM ANYWHO;

Look at who I was a few months ago, and look at me NOW. Bigg diff huh? There's much more to come for me, and I'm willing to learn. I'm willling to fall. So whoever comes my way, If they're down & I'm down.. then its all good. If it doesn't work, I'm not gonna trip as much. I'll care, OFCOURSE, but i'm not gonna put myself down. You don't someone to make you happy. Foooo',  you can do that yourself. (= .  Inner strength is the best kind of strength anyone can have. Remember that.

Been there done that. Already know where its at. Knowing where it leads, life is so mischevious. Wondering this, hating on that. Like i said; i been there but never wanna go back. Been through the hurt and the pain. Experienced no gain at all. I'd fall, deeper & deeper until i finally reached the end. Couldnt fall anymore because i've hit the dead-end. I've finally broken and the world won, but out of what? To see my pain, see my tears. Break my happiness chain for all these years. Dont even know where this started, wishing it never began. i miss what we shared, hella miss what we had. But now i gotta keep my guards up, act like nothing happend. Cause when people can tell your what your weaknesses is, then shittt, you already lost.

"Head held high, try to touch the sky and dont let anyone get by." -Aashana

You look at what I could be, but you too blind to see, that I am me. Aint gonna change to satisfy ya needs; Please. Accept me for who I am, or i'll take that chance to leave, break free. In the words of Ms. Monroe; Can't handle me at my worst, ya don't deserve me at my best. Take that & keep it in ya head, I'm not gonna say it again.

Never repeated.

Past exists in our memories, the future in our past. & the presesnt in our reality, in which you dont understand. How things are now instead of how they could be. Dont take shit for granted cause you think you'll always have me. Saying I could be this, I could be that. Instead of loving me for me, taking me for who I am. Yhea, I have more to offer but not all of what you expect. So look at me now,

what you see is what you get.

 rnrn

Gotta start from scratch, but i'm okay with that. Cause I am who i am which is a growing girl, i have a plan to survive in this crude world. Nothing can break me expect myself, I learn from others that i have dealt with. I'll admit that i've done wrong, I know where i dont belong, but still trying to find who i really am. Dont wanna skip ahead wanna learn every step, Even though it means falling in great depth. Mistakes are apart of life and i've made a shitload of them, time to put this childplay to rest. Dont need anyone to satisfy my needs, i just need to know what the reasons for my mistakes mean. I'm glad that i'm not perfect & that i realized which path i should take, because in order to get stronger you have to make many many mistakes.